Vienna, Austria - APRIL 1 - A sensational leaked document obtained today by Greenpeace reveals that the head of the UN’s International Atomic Energy Agency (IAEA) is considering realigning the agency’s mission from promoting nuclear power towards renewable energy.
In a short internal memo dated today and intended for circulation to staff at the Agency, IAEA Director General Mohamed ElBaradei outlines his intention to reframe the agency’s mission statement:
"Whilst I alone cannot change the mandate of the Agency, I am convening a panel of experts under my direction to prepare a report for the next General Conference in September. Their remit will be to find the best approach for the agency to become a world leader and advocate of renewable energy sources"
Our nuclear expert and regular IAEA watcher, William Hill stated:
"At first we didn’t believe it, we thought it was a joke. Now that it has sunk in we welcome the acknowledgement of the fundamental hypocrisy of the IAEA’s dual role and the responsible recognition that it was unsustainable. We are disappointed that immediate change has not been made and further dismayed at the likelihood that the consultative period will be dominated by industry interests. We will, however, almost certainly open a bottle of champagne today to mark this historic development."
We have long been critics of the IAEA’s conflicting dual role. On the one hand, it is in charge of preventing the spread of nuclear weapons and leading member states towards nuclear disarmament. But it also promotes civil nuclear power programs that provide the means to build nuclear weapons.
Only yesterday we received a call from an agency insider claiming he had proof of dramatic developments at the IAEA. Identifying himself only as Art Sixnofour he set up an elaborate hand-over of the leaked document in a Vienna park.
While we have not been in possession of the document long enough to fully analyse the implications and confirm the details of the proposed plan, we believe its explosive contents justified rapid release of the document.
It is too soon to assume the Agency’s mission will change but we can only applaud ElBaradei’s courage in seeking to remove the foolhardy contradiction at the heart of the current IAEA mission statement. The world will be a safer place if his proposal is adopted.
Obviously, this is the best joke never done on 1st April. If only it should not be not a joke...
ACDN, April, 1, 2006